Our Control.
What do we control? And how much is that? Does it matter what and how we control the things around us?
Everything sucks when you feel like you don’t have control. That’s why we go ham with the stuff we do have control over and sometimes it becomes overly controlling. Having control makes us feel sane. I know I hate it when I don’t have control over anything and nothing seems to go my way, absolutely annoying, right?
We feel our safest when we realize we have control over a certain situation or even person. Sometimes we can’t help it and other times we absolutely can. Trying to control every situation, etc could be a type of defense mechanism. This may not be the case at all, but it’s something to consider if you always want control.
And I’m sorry to say you have no control over every single little aspect of your life. I know. But it’s the same for everyone else. So you’re not alone.
Here’s why I think we have control over what actually is a small number of things. First, what are those things that we actually have control over? Well, there’s our ability to control how certain situations affect us and how we respond to them. RESPOND don’t react. The ability to control how you respond already makes you a way better person.
For example, let’s say you get in a really horrible car accident. Your life savings may as well be gone for the rest of the year. Your car may be totaled, and you’ll be car-less for the next few months, and have to get around by using the bus. Not to mention any extra cost for damage done to the other person’s car if it was your fault. (This is the worst-case scenario.)
You're probably thinking well F***. I definitely don’t want to be that person. This situation only sounds bad because your mind is set up to always pick out the worse possible excuses. It’s kinda our human nature to cling to the bad things rather than the good. I have a fault in doing this sometimes. Sometimes it’s the bad things that we find comfort in because we already know it’s true or want it to be true out of belittling ourselves.
BUT, looking at this situation from a different standpoint, taking several moments to back away from the situation will allow you to see something different. Yea, your car is totaled, but maybe you’ve been wanting a new car and now you finally have the chance!
Yea, your life savings are basically down the drain, but guess what? Money will always come and go. You’ll make it back! And money isn’t everything. It’s just paper. (Even though we need it to survive.)
What I’m tryna to get at here is YOU NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT REALLY MATTERS!!
You survived the crash! Completely missed that very good point when I stated out everything that was wrong, huh?
No matter how big or small a situation is there’s always a better way to look at it. Trust that I know it’s easier just to see all the wrong and horrible. But that’s exactly where you are not taking control.
You can literally stop yourself from seeing the whole world flip upside down. In this case, you chose not to let the accident get to you and bring you down. I mean it was bad, but it could’ve been a lot worse.
By responding in a calm matter it makes you feel like you do have some control over the situation rather than letting yourself explode, feel horrible about it, and telling yourself the world is never in your favor. Remember, this saying. A lot of people always say when you hit rock bottom there’s only one way to go, and that’s up! That’s the type of attitude and response you need to keep going.
Another area we control —
We also have control over the types of people and experiences we allow into our lives. Please read that again. You can choose to let someone in your life. But don’t make the mistake of keeping someone around for their sake when it doesn’t even benefit you.
You can choose to jump off that bridge and let it be the best adventure you’ve ever had. Or you can choose to not jump off the bridge because you’re more of a logical person and see no safety in it. And it’s just you keeping yourself safe.
We control very few things, but the ones we do control are really important. They’re vital to how we set up our lives. We control what we eat. What we do. How we act. What we say. How we feel. Your sleep and self-care.
Here are some things to consider when you’re in control.
Eat a meal you like and feels good to eat.
Choose to try out a hobby you’ve always wanted to, but never started because of fear, etc.
Act like nothing in the world could bring you down. Act like you are walking on precious water.
Choose to say wonderful things to yourself. (You are loved, you are beautiful, you are unique, you are amazing to be around.)
Choose to feel good in the morning and be able to wake next to someone you love or wake up to the birds.
Choose to fall in love with your life. (It’s yours and yours alone!!)
Choose to go to sleep early one night.
Choose to take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly and in a gentle manner.
These small things could potentially change your life!
Everything else is out of our hands. And there’s nothing we can do. But surrender.
For those of you who don’t know, surrending is not giving up, but almost giving in to the unknown that’s meant to meet with you. Whether you believe it or not the world has a plan for you. And based on your decisions and experiences, it’s always changing. But it’s there and it exists. And it’s waiting just for you.
So control what you can control. As for everything else, give in. What will be yours, will be yours in due time. You just have to put in the remaining effort, sit back once in a while and flow with the world as it is constantly moving and interchanging, just like you.
