Best Friend Meets Worst Enemy

Can’t I be 

someone on sidewalks smiling 

    at a birdie that looked at me 

when the wind blew perfectly 

Can’t 

Closed, by my fragile hands, go the curtains

Cold air sticks itself to my walls like goo

Cupped in my hands is constant 

No one likes me 

I’m not good enough 

I don’t belong here 

Catapulting into a spring

of nails, so keep me pinned 

while my head starts 

a fire 

The doors locked from the outside 

From the inside I hear chatter I 

Can’t turn off 

Sit in your room   for hours   in fetal position 

    you don’t need anyone

only me

***

I just tried cat piss 

Sativa be my baby 

Come play with my mind 

to your nug’s delight  

Crazy how open my eyes are all three

I’ve never wanted to cry because I can see 

the beauty of living & being 

Living the human experience dream 

I can swing into a cab   go straight 

to the city 

Accept what invites me 

Create a personal cottage under the stars 

Call them mine 

I can walk on hot coals   my feet tingle 

but  no burn; the fire is out

   I feel loose in my body 

I feel charged 

Can the lens capture me trying shrooms?