The Inevitable Path of Being Lost

Everybody feels lost in life at some point. It’s normal to want to have our lives all figured out in the same way that it appears for others on social media or wherever else. As humans, we’re taught to always, in any situation, present our best selves. Otherwise, we are unprofessional. This is dumb. We are only human. And we will ALWAYS feel every emotion or none; numbness. I get that putting your best self at the front lines inspires, attracts, and makes you more likable, but this can’t always be the case. We are messy. Life is messy with it’s changes every single day. So, it’s perfectly fine for you to feel lost or behind in life. It will happen.

Feeling behind in life and feeling lost can be intertwined with each other. They bounce off of each other. Both, make you lose sight of yourself and your place in the world. Feeling behind in life is more aimed toward successfulness and that compared with others, while feeling lost is more so about one’s personal views on themself. For instance, if you’re feeling behind in life because you’re not executing career goals that match what others are doing it could in result make you question your position in the world and your identity. And vice versa.

My experience

I graduated from a university, and when I was freshly out, I felt on top of the world. I could pursue anything I wanted. I could soak in this summer break and have as much fun as I could. While looking for a pathway to my career.

It’s been three months post-grad and I have no idea what I’m doing. Have no idea where to go. Or where to start. (Other than applying for jobs and sticking with my website.) I’ve gotten so used to being in the education system with all it’s resources that I feel stuck now. In between two worlds. One that I’ve known all my life: school. And the other: the real world, the adult world.

Being in school makes it easier to map out a little ahead because it’s just more school. Now that I’ve graduated, that pattern has changed. The chain has broken. I suddenly have to throw myself into a new cycle without even understanding how it works. Or if there’s even a cycle to go through. Honestly, all I’ve been doing since I’ve graduated is winging it, and I’m going to keep doing this until something happens.

Why do we feel behind or lost in life?

Having that sense of NOT knowing what’s to come or where to go initiates that status of feeling lost. We function more accordingly when we know exactly what’s to come or what we have to do next. That unknown feeling has the upper hand of making our brains feel scrambled. This is because we don’t like uncertainty, but it’s necessary in some cases (more on this later). To add, when we interact with others and see how they portray themselves, it spirals our subconscious mind to make these absurd comparisons based off other people’s lives.

Suddenly, you’re wondering why Tina, who’s younger than you, graduated at the same time, has already received an award for what you also studied. Shit, is what you feel. Your mind tricks you into believing you are below everyone and everything.

This, in response, creates negative self-talk and backward actions.

It becomes easy to pin yourself down because of other people’s progress that seems to be happening quicker and in extreme steps. Though you never see people doing the difficult part of showing up and putting in the effort. There are no easy routes, ever.

And it’s crazy how fast we can make a habit out of saying “I’m not making any progress or seeing results.”

When we feel lost we eventually give in to this state and get comfortable because it lingers at the back of our minds. This slowly backtracks us. The negative self-talk begins and the actions follow. By saying you’re not going anywhere in life you’re more inclined to stop being productive or do very little work that feels like it isn’t adding much, but it is!

However long this feeling stays with you, two words will most likely be attached along with it. Progress and failure. This state of “being” behind in life is triggered by how much progress you’re making. Progress is often tied to big breakthroughs rather than the small wins/achievements. BUT it’s those small steps that leave behind big trails. Any progress IS progress.

Not every move you make will be a big one. Neither, will they always push you further towards where you want to be. You will fail. And…

Failing is understanding mistakes. Failing is growing. Failing is teaching yourself.

Something I’ve recently heard is, “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” It’s having a goal that’s within your reach, but having no game plan or actions to make it happen. Oof. This one felt like it was aiming straight at me when I heard it. I bring this up because feeling lost, in a way, prepares us to fail because it blocks us from moving in the right direction. (At least at first.)

We can try to picture ourselves in the distance being content with where we are, but there’s no actions being made to get there. It essentially acts as a hold in our life.

On top of everything, you lose your hope, motivation, confidence, and self-image. The loss of who you are and what you’re made for makes it extremely difficult to move past this feeling.

But what you don’t know is that this exact feeling can help you.

How to respond to this feeling

I’ll tell you right now that the best approach to this is to just let it happen, go through the motions. When you’re ready, find the root of the cause and take action. It’s a process that will be bad before it gets good.

What you feel might actually be necessary to feel before you take the next step.

In most cases, when this lost feeling starts to linger it’s because changes are going to need to be decided by you. The best attitude to have is the one that sees this as an opportunity to make clear of what you want for yourself. Once you narrowed that down, focus on only that.

Also, understand that everyone goes at their own pace and have their own journeys. Your time will come. There is no single destination for everyone.

This will suck at the beginning, but I promise you it will bring the clarity you are seeking in whatever area of your life.